Wow. I haven’t written in here in a bit, but a lot has happened since I have that I don’t want to forget! I’m at the airport now. I’m through security, I just have to wait until my gate is announced before I can do anything else. I’m sitting at a Café Nero. I just had a bacon sandwich, croissant, and a chai. Last night was SO sad. We all hung out in the common room, drinking, laughing and crying our eyes out. Chopan made me, Alex, Georiga and Karly slow dance with him as a last goodbye. I cried like a bitch. My eyes are still puffy from crying. I can’t believe it’s over. I can’t believe I have to go home. It almost doesn’t seem real. Chopan kept saying the past couple of days that the fact we were sad to leave was a good thing. It meant we had something really special. Ugh. I’m gonna have to stop writing, I’m about to start crying again.
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Ugh. I had a bad night last night. I didn’t sleep at all—maybe four hours? I’m exhausted and anxious, and I don’t feel good. I’m getting antsy to go home.
I feel terrible this morning. I’m not looking forward to being on a plane for eight hours. It’s gloomy and windy out today. I need to pack today and do laundry. Tomorrow I have to wake up early and go get my Covid test at King’s Cross station, and then come back to the house for class. I’m in the library right now working on my website. The internet sucks. It takes forever to upload pictures. On a positive note, I started looking at art classes that are being offered over the summer at the art center that’s close to our apartment. I would really like to take a pottery class or something once a week. I think I would enjoy it. The only hose is that each class is like $300. *** Ugh. I don’t feel good. I feel really anxious and like I could throw up. I just packed some and cleaned out my room a little bit, but I still feel really on edge and just blah. I need to slow down. I’ve been go-go-going nonstop today. I haven’t taken a single break, plus I slept like four hours last night. I can ~relax~ I will be packed and ready to go on time by Friday morning. It just started pouring outside. It’s kind of calming to listen to. Almost soothing. I woke up early this morning and came downstairs because Alex texted me that shit went down last night at the bar, and he wanted me to come down, so he could tell me. So, I got up and made coffee, and went and sat in the common room with him and Chopan. It’s 10AM right now and the literature class is meeting in the common room. It looks like it’s gonna downpour outside. Chopan and I are going to Leather Lane in an hour to get lunch, and then sit in a coffee shop there and work on stuff. Madison is supposed to meet us there once she gets out of class. I never finished writing in here about yesterday, but Chopan and Madison and I went to Borough for lunch. I got my pork shoulder sandwich for probably the last time and then I bought some spicy sausage to bring home for Ethan. I want to go back there before I leave and get some more funky stuff to bring home for mom and Luci. After we left Borough, the three of us went to Waterstones and hung out working on stuff for a couple of hours. Then we came home, and Billy had dinner ready at 4pm… I ate even though I wasn’t hungry. Then I stayed in the library with Madison and Karly for most of the night working on stuff. Once it got a little later, Chopan came in the library and helped me work on my feature. We had the white board in there and my piece cut up and spread all over the floor. It was fun! He even made me an Aperol Spritz. I ended up finishing my feature and then went upstairs and talked to Ethan on his way home from work. It was nice. He seemed happy. *** I had a pretty good day today! Chopan and I had a nice chat while we were eating and then the two of us hung out for a long time and wrote at the coffee shop while we waited for Madison. After we got home, I basically stayed in the library all afternoon and worked on my website. Wow. I didn’t realize that I didn’t write at all yesterday. We were so busy getting all the shit ready for the reading that I barely had any down time. *** I had to stop writing because we left to go to a market. We were originally supposed to go to Portobello Market, but we decided not to go because it looked like it was going to rain. So, we headed to Borough, but the tube was so packed, and part of the Northern line was down, so we were close to South Bank market and decided to walk there instead. I hadn’t been to that market yet, but it was cool! I got a duck confit burger with duck fat fries. It was insane. Absolutely insane. I think it might have been the best meal I’ve had so far on the trip. If not, it’s definitely in the top five. I also got a really good chai latte there. After the market, we came home, and I facetimed Ethan. We talked for a long time, and then I came downstairs. We’re all in the common room right now. It’s almost 5:00. Sage is doing a game night thing in a little bit, and then some people are going to karaoke tonight. I don’t really want to go. I’m just starting to feel better and I don’t really want to change what I’m currently wearing. Anyway, back to the reading. It went really well! I didn’t even get nervous when I went up to read. Also, all the decorations looked great, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Chopan even made all of us cry with his closing remarks. It was a really nice night! Oh my god, I feel awful. I slept better last night than I have for a couple of days, but damn. Whatever I have is kicking my ass. Thankfully Chopan was cool about me skipping British Seminar today, so that’s cool.
I ventured out earlier to the grocery store and bought myself some soup and medicine. I bought a throat spray too, so hopefully that will help me fall asleep tonight. I still haven’t finished my feature, but I just don’t have the energy. My body feels like lead. I want to be better for the reading tomorrow, and to hang out with everyone this weekend. Billy heard me coughing in the common room and came to check on me. He even offered to make me soup or bring me some tea, which was very sweet. *** Billy made pot roast, which was really good. I got first pick of it too because everyone is still gone for class. It’s almost 5:30pm, and they’re still not back. I’m glad I didn’t go, I would’ve been miserable. I stayed in the library all day, and read more of my book, and now I’m in my room. I’m forcing myself to work on my feature. It’d be cool if I could get it done today, that way I no longer have to worry about it. I miss Ethan a lot right now. I wish we could snuggle. I can’t believe that I’ll get to see him in a week, and in two weeks, we’ll be moving in together! It feels surreal. I can’t wait! I think the move will be good for both of us. I know we’ll have a lot of fun together. We make a good pair. *** I’ve been in my room all night watching Netflix. I finally decided to work on my feature and I got stuck pretty quickly. I heard Chopan out in the garden, so I told him I was struggling. He told me to focus on getting better, which was cool. He said I can’t get anywhere with a fuzzy brain. So yeah, I feel a lot less stressed now. It’s almost 10:00pm now. Ethan will call me soon on his way home from work. I miss him. I can’t wait to see him. I wish we could be together right now. I just want to lay my head in his lap and have him stroke my hair, and just be together. I’ve been missing him a lot today. Ugh. I feel like shit. I slept like shit too. It took me hours to fall asleep because I just kept coughing. It was awful.
Now, it’s practically noon and I just started moving. I went downstairs and got some tea and toast. Alex said he’d go to the pharmacy for me and get me some cough medicine, so that’s cool. *** I’m not having a great day today. I feel really sad, and I keep letting my mind race about the future. I feel like crying. I want to go home, but I don’t want to go home. I’m excited to move in with Ethan, but I’m also scared. Generally, I feel sort of lost. I don’t know if I should apply to grad school again or try and become a high school teacher or what. I’m scared, and I wish I had something lined up that made me feel safe and secure about graduating and going back home. I don’t know what the right move is. I don’t even know if there is a “right” move. I want things to work out for me, and I want to be happy with my life. I don’t want to be working all the time and hate it. Oh my god. I’m so sick. I cough literally every 30 seconds. I coughed so hard this morning, it felt like I pulled a muscle. I took some meds, so hopefully those with kick in soon.
Last night and the night before, I had a really hard time falling asleep. I don’t know what the deal is… probably just because I’m sick. Anyway, yesterday Ethan got a text from the apartment guy that all of our paperwork looked good, but… he wanted Ethan’s dad to fill out the co-signer from… again. So yeah, that’s annoying, but I think it’s a good thing? I think it means we got the place? Honestly, who knows. This whole process has been taking a lot longer than we thought it would, and, then the apartment dude said it would. Oh well. It doesn’t really become a problem until I get home. So yeah, hopefully it all works out. *** I kind of just had an epiphany. Last night, Chopan sort of made a comment about art and how there are plenty of things I could do with art outside of going to grad school. This morning I was thinking about that and then my mind got wandering and I started thinking about Mrs. Frey, my high school art teacher, and how much fun I had in her classes and how much fun I’ve been having making all of the decorations for the reading. Then I looked up what you need to become a high school art teacher in Indiana, and I got really excited at the prospect of it all. I don’t know, it just seems like something I would truly enjoy. I think I’ve always known I wanted to become a teacher, and this seems like something I could actually see myself doing. I just think it’s something I might want to do. Besides, it’s practically in my blood. Aunt Muffy taught, both of mom and dad’s parents taught. So yeah, I think this summer I’m gonna look into what I need to do to get a teaching certificate and all of that shit. Plus, I can email Mrs. Frey and ask her questions. *** Oh my god! Ethan just texted me that we got the apartment! I’m so excited! I texted mom, dad and Luci as soon as I saw his text. Mom called me immediately and said she ordered a little house warming gift for us, which was sweet. Yesterday was a nice day. I stayed up super late last night. I don’t think I actually fell asleep until like 2:30 or 3:00AM. I was in the library until like 1:00AM painting, and then once the last couple of drunk people went to bed, I went upstairs. I’m surprised I woke up this early this morning. It’s almost 10:00AM now. Madison and Chopan are the only other people awake so far. I’m coughing a lot this morning. I wish it would go away! *** I’m at Waterstones now with Madison, Georgia, and Chopan. We walked to Seven Dials around noon for lunch, then we kept walking to Covent Garden to peruse the antique market because I still need a gift for Markie. I found a mini harmonica there, but the dude wanted too much money for it, and I didn’t have any cash—like a dumbass. So, anyway, Georgia said she would go back with me next Monday and I’ll make sure to bring cash. Georgia’s a good haggler, so she’ll be good to have with me. I think we’re gonna try and go to Portobello on Saturday, so maybe I can find something there for him. I’ve got something for everyone else though, so that’s good! I woke up this morning really sick. My ears, nose, and throat feel just like they did when I had Covid. Meh! I took some Sudafed and its starting to help, but I’m still coughing a bunch.
Anyway, I’m not sure what I’m going to do today, but there’s a couple things I definitely need to get done:
So yeah, all of that should be relatively easy to get done considering it’s Sunday and we’ll probably have a house meeting where we’ll clean, so I can bring down all of my trash then. *** I actually did more than I thought I was going to do today! I went to Brick Lane with Madison and Alex for like two hours and got some cool stuff there. I bought four handmade coasters for the apartment, and a funky pair of earrings for Luci. I also bought THE CUTEST little teapot for Laney that was in an underground antique shop. It’s adorable and fits in the palm of your hand. So yeah, I’m pretty happy. Now I’m chilling in the library by myself. I’m working on the drinks menu for the reading. I’m at the park with Chopan, Alex and Madison. We brought a blanket to sit on, and a bunch of nuts to feed the birds.
*** I’m home now, sitting in the common room with everyone. I had a nice day today. It was a perfect day to go to the park because it was so nice and warm out. We hung out at the park for a couple of hours because it was so warm. Then we came back to the house and I took an hour-long nap. After my nap, Kate, Chopan, and Alex and I walked to Seven Dials to get dinner. It was so busy, it was crazy. But I had an amazing truffle burger. After we ate, we walked to Covent Garden. It was crazy there too! It seemed like everyone was out and about. The pubs were overflowing with people outside. There was a chocolate covered strawberry cart, so I got some. They were amazing. After all of that, we came home, and I went upstairs and facetimed Ethan for a long time. Now I’m chilling with everyone. It’s a little past 11PM. I might go to bed soon. My throat and ears have been bothering me the past couple of days. I’m going to take a Benadryl when I go to sleep and see if that helps at all in the morning. I’m not sure if it’s allergies or if I’m getting sick. Meh. |
AuthorOlivia Jacobson is a student and writer studying abroad for her final semester of college. She is interested in creative nonfiction and poetry, as well as visual art. This site is dedicated to documenting her time abroad. Archives
May 2022
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